my autistic support kit

the tangibles that help me get through day-to-day life as a level one autistic woman

I received my autism diagnosis in November of 2023, a diagnosis that helped me to recontextualize my entire life and how I accommodate myself. And while I am not claiming to know everything (or much of anything) about what it means to be an autistic woman in 2025, I’ve compiled a list of tangibles and a few intangibles that help me get through my day-to-day life a little easier. Please take this list with a grain of salt or sugar, with the expected caveat that what works for me may not work for others and that my list may vary greatly from another autistic person's list based on our differing needs. All in all, it’s just a list, I’m just one person, and I’m not claiming to be any kind of expert or singularity on autism. With that, please enjoy one of my favorite forms of words on the planet: a list.

No. 1. Can you turn the volume down?

-Loops noise-cancelling earplugs

Yes, they are as fabulous and incredible as everyone claims they are. I bought two pairs (the sleep and experience pairs) many months before my diagnosis. I have always been extremely sensitive to sound, and these earplugs are one of my most-used support items ever. I truly wear these earplugs everywhere, the grocery store, movie theater, bars, clubs, while vacuuming, using the blender, airports, everywhere. I have yet to try the multilayer sets, where you can shift between different levels of noise cancellation, but a friend of mine claims they are worth the higher price point.

My only note is that the carrying cases (little plastic circular cases with a string attachment) are not meant for daily wear and tear. Mine broke almost instantly, and now the earplugs live in a pouch with magnetic buttons. Keychain users beware!

-Over-ear noise-canceling headphones

In preparation for a cross-country flight, my fiancé bought me a pink pair of over-the-ear noise-canceling headphones online, meant for wearing at a shooting range. They are moderately adjustable and have space for me to wear my loops or music earbuds underneath. Cons are that it squishes my head to the point of headache. However, they are a necessity for reducing the sound of airplane engines, even if only by a small margin.

-Bluetooth headphones with noise-canceling feature

I think just about everyone has some variation of noise-cancelling Bluetooth headphones by now, I have the Samsung Galaxy Buds. Mine are so essential for focus and flexibility when I was doing schoolwork and when traveling. My Lizzy McAlpine and Lofi Girl music can be uninterrupted with the coffee shop chaos sounds of steaming milk and espresso being pressed.

No. 2. The Most Fun Stuff

-Jellycat bag charms

I am a Jellycat girl, always have been, always will be, even despite increasing prices. Some of my biggest comfort items are stuffed animals, and when I need to get regulated fast, feeling the soft material and knowing I have a tangible little friend to help me feel less alone. The Jellycat bag charms are the perfect size to clip inside or outside a purse and have some comfort wherever I go.

-Calico Critters

To continue on with comfort items and special objects, Calico Critters are the perfect purse-size companion to hold onto when my emotions feel out of whack. Truly, even just knowing there is one in my purse helps me to feel less alone and gives me the confidence to continue on my day. They are a lot smaller than the mini Jellycats, and so can come along more easily in any size bag for a night out in a cute purse or a day of errands in my belt bag. I even have a keychain Calico Critter that is clipped to my keycard at work, so I always have one on me.

-Fidgets (wacky track, Speks, Aaron's crazy putty, fidget ring, pop it, chewing gum)

It wouldn’t be a support kit post if I didn’t touch on my favorite fidget toys. An all-time favorite is, of course, the wacky track. This one was from a fidget toy set donated to the school library I worked at and I have carried it with me everywhere I go for the last year and a half. Truly, it comes everywhere with me (it’s beside my laptop at this very moment). It has the most satisfying clicky-clacky sound and snaps apart and back together at any point in the chain. My favorite feature, however, is making symmetrical shapes by manipulating the hinges; it’s so unbelievably satisfying that I cannot recommend it highly enough.

me + my wacky track after having lost it on the side of the road for approximately 30 mins (was the worst meltdown ever)

Honorable mentions go to brands like Speks or Aaron’s Crazy Putty, which are both within the fidget rotation, but not as coveted as the wacky track. I’ve tried some fidget jewelry including some fidget rings which are excellent for more discrete fidgeting, but I find if I’m trying to not appear like I’m fidgeting (i.e. often I don’t want to have a brightly colored toy in my hand at work or in a job interview or at a restaurant) I find I just play with my non-fidget toy necklace or buttons on my sweater or zipper on my purse, which all does the trick just fine.

The most elite discrete fidget toy, however, is chewing gum. When I used to get my nails done, I could not sit still for an entire hour without fidgeting. I had the genius idea one day before an appointment to have a piece of mint gum, and it changed the game; it was like a putty for my mouth (as gross as that sounds, it’s incredibly accurate). Although I don’t get my nails done much these days (chipped gel polish is a sensory nightmare), I still use chewing gum as a discreet and quiet fidget option and regulation tool. I keep a pack in my purse and in my car (the peppermint is also incredible for regulating me, as sometimes other senses can play a big part in sensory overload!)

No. 3. Chocolate and Cheese

I could do an entire post about safe foods and neurodivergence as someone who as recovered from a restrictive eating disorder but I will just say this: my food shame has lessened since learning I’m autistic. I have so much more empathy and compassion for myself and my particularities with food and food preferences. That being said, here are some of my safe foods that I gravitate towards and have on a regular basis.

I am Goodles number one fan. Both their plain pasta and mac and cheese are a gift to us neurodivergent folks, and I am forever indebted to the company. For those unfamiliar, Goodles is an enriched vitamin and protein pasta that actually tastes just like regular old wheat noodles. As someone who was a butter and cheese pasta as a kid, Goodles is heaven to me. It’s more filling than standard pasta and extra goodness in added vitamins, which is especially helpful if I’m going through a picky phase. I cannot recommend it enough!

Some other groceries I like to have on hand are milk chocolate (because I’d rather have it then not and it’s incredibly comforting) frozen peas (my favorite vegetable and compatible with just about any meal to add some extra nutrients), frozen dinners from Trader Joe’s (some of our favorites are the Japanese fried rice with tofu and edamame, paneer and rice, chickpea masala, and of course the mac and cheese), sparkling water (it’s the perfect fizzy stimulation drink and helps me to drink way more water), and individual packaged items like apple sauce squeeze pouches and cheese sticks (helps me eat when eating is especially hard!) As extra as it sounds, I take food and snack prep one step further by opening up packages on grocery shopping day. Taking the applesauce packs out of the box, separating the cheese sticks from one another, taking off seals, and opening containers greatly helps with ease of access, making my snacks more likely to happen in moments of upset and frustration.

On the topic of food, sour foods are immensely helpful in snapping me out of severe meltdowns and anxiety attacks. I keep lemon wedges in the freezer and super sour Skittles in the pantry, and my purse to help snap me back to reality. Oftentimes, I don’t voluntarily go for sour when I’m upset; it’s often thrust upon me by a trusted loved one, which I am forever grateful for.

No. 4. It’s Just Lidocaine

Lidocaine is a miracle gel. I’d only ever associated it with the dentist, but one summer I got an awful sunburn and couldn’t sleep over the sensory nightmare of it, my best friend recommended I put lidocaine on it. Instant relief. While it numbs the pain, it doesn’t feel like tingly numb, just like the volume has been lowered on the pain scale. Physical pain is fairly consuming for me, so lidocaine gel is a safe and preferred antidote. Sunburns, bug bites, hangnails, cat scratches, it works.

No. 5. What I Wear

I could do an entire post on how my wardrobe has changed since my autism diagnosis. The biggest difference is, comfort is prioritized without scrutiny. For so long, I assumed the tired saying beauty is pain and felt that if I were to dress comfortably, then I was to dress unfashionably. While I don’t consider myself fashionable necessarily, I do enjoy clothing and personal style and feel like I can dress myself presentably in an outfit just as comfortable as my pajamas with exceedingly more confidence.

Flowy pants, long skirts, and dresses are among my top staples. While I have found some great items thrifting, the stand-out brand award goes to Old Navy (which I find plenty of thrifting and on Depop). Stretchy waistbands, comfortable soft fabrics, and soothing colors and prints are the priority.

For shoes, I love my Rothy’s ballet flats, Birkenstock Bostons, and Blundstones, all for the simple fact of comfort, which is a common theme on this list. Easy to slip off and on, can work with just about any outfit, and don’t cause my feet any discomfort during the day.

I’m still desperate to find a comfortable and supportive bra. Previously, I’ve enjoyed True and Co. bras for comfort and support and affordability, but they only last about a year before needing replacing (maybe I should be replacing my bras more often, but how can I when they are so expensive??) and them only being available for purchase on Amazon, I’m in need of a comfortable and supportive alternative. Another favorite of mine has been Hara the Label, but being an Australian company (and me being in the US), it is trickier for me to order from. No wire, no padding, supportive and comfortable, and ideally not $100. Likely, finding a unicorn will be simpler.

Lastly, are my sunglasses and light sensitivity glasses. Tried and true from Pela, my sunglasses may be my most-used item I own, period. From the moment I step out of the house, they are on my face or ready to be quickly accessed on the top of my head. I cannot drive without them and notice a severe impact on my eyes and head when I forget them at home.

My light-sensitive glasses are a godsend. A coworker who suffers from migraines recommended them to me, and I will never look back. Similar to blue-light glasses (which help with looking at screens), the light sensitivity glasses help with the awful fluorescent lights that are present at both of my jobs. They look just like normal glasses (with the slightest pink tint) and greatly help reduce headaches and fatigue from bright lights.

No. 6. Things I Do

While I love crafting of most kinds, knitting has been one that is deeply soothing and helps regulate me when I get overwhelmed. It’s also kind of like a fidget toy in some aspects, the repetitive motion is top-tier, and another form of socially acceptable fidgeting if I want to be more on the down low on a particular day.

-yoga (specifically restore style)

-comfort media (rewatching shows and favorite youtube videos)

-children’s audiobooks

Bonus: Wishlist Items

-knit weighted blanket

-upgrade my loops

-Nee Doh fidget

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my biggest supports: my loved ones and neurodivergent friendly therapy. Supportive loved ones who prepare a dark and quiet room at a party so I have a safe place to collect myself and recharge, those who ask about my hyper fixations and special interests, knowing full well I may (most definitely) ramble beyond what they may be interested in listening to. Support can come from comfortable clothes and pocket-sized stuffed animals, but it largely comes from the community I surround myself with. I’m sure this list will grow with time as I learn more about myself and my diagnosis; it is not currently complete by any means, but a starting point for me to explore, edit, and shape as I get older. Take what you need, leave what you don’t, and provide yourself with accommodations that make your life better. Discomfort does not make you tough, it just makes you uncomfortable. And when the whole world is uncomfortable, it’s okay if you need earplugs or sunglasses or chewing gum to make it all a little more bearable.

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